I often talk about the importance of acting like a leader when it comes to dating and succeeding in life.
Not surprisingly, many of my readers have emailed me in the past to express their concerns on the subject. One of the most popular questions that I get all the time is, “Do I really have to put down other guys in order to be good at dating?”
To me, this objection comes from a “faulty logical construe”. (More on this concept in the future…)
After all, have I ever TOLD you to put down ANYONE in order to impress a woman?
No! Of course not!
Just because you are “alpha” and act like a leader does NOT mean you have to put down ANYONE. It does not mean you have to be “better” than everybody else’s.
It just means you have to do YOUR best. And for most of us – including myself – it means doing better than what we are already doing right now. (If you think you’re already at your full potential, you’re too cocky for me!)
If you don’t believe me, then look up all the articles I’ve written in the past. Try to find just ONE example where I’ve specifically told you to put down another guy or to harm another person in order to prove your superiority.
You won’t find any examples.
Now…onto the real point of this article!
These guys that email me because they are not comfortable with idea of being a leader…a lot of them have been my readers for a few months or a few years…
Most of them have seen positive results in using my stuff to improve their love lives on adultfrinendfinder.com login.
But yet…why do they still “cringe” subconsciously whenever I tell them to act like a leader?
I think there are three reasons:
1) One reason is because the human mind often makes “logical” connections that reinforces its own beliefs. For example, we may feel that being a leader or an alpha-male “means” a person has to put other people down, which isn’t true at all.
This kind of thinking usually comes from things we’ve learned as a child – such as our parents saying negative things about a certain successful person out of jealousy.
(Have you ever noticed that the more popular, wealthy, or powerful a person becomes, the more people will talk behind his back and call him “lucky?”)
To make ourselves feel better, we often think of “excuses” to convince ourselves why we “shouldn’t” be successful. For example, we may tell ourselves that we don’t want to become a leader because we don’t want to “manipulate” other people.
But in the real world, people turn to leaders and alpha-males for support. If every leader was just interested in putting other people down, they wouldn’t have any followers, would they?
2) Another reason is because of the responsibility involved. As I stated in another article a couple of months ago, most guys are TERRIFIED of accepting ANY kind of responsibility.
And of course, nobody wants to ADMIT they are afraid of being responsible for making their own decisions. So they come up with different excuses to “explain” why it is “bad” to be a leader.
3) They don’t understand the concept of abundance. They think that there is only a certain amount of success in this world…and that if one person becomes more successful…he’ll have to do it “at the expense of other people.”
This theory is true to an extent…but only in a CLOSED environment.
If the world only had 3 guys and 1 woman, then yes, you would be screwing over the other 2 guys by winning the woman’s heart. (Unless you’re willing to share.)
But if you look at the LARGER picture…and understand that you’ve living in a world with 6,505,903,138 people, you’ll see there’re PLENTY OF OPPUTURNITIES for everyone.
One of the most self-limiting beliefs that I had as a child, teenager, and adult was something my aunt said to me when I was a kid,
“There’s only one top position in a department. If you get it, how about the other people who don’t get it? Just let other people have it. Be happy with what you’ve got.”
10 or 15 years ago, I would have agreed. In fact,that was my excuse throughout my teenage and early adult years for not trying my best.
“Let somebody else get it. They want it more…” was my motto to life.
But now I see the world in a different way.
While it’s true that there’s only one top position in a department, there are often MANY departments in a company, and there are also many OTHER companies that you can work for in this world!
In other words, just because there’s only one managerial position in a particular company doesn’t mean you can’t ever be a manager.
Similarly, there are MANY woman in this world. You really do not need to have to worry about “competing” with anyone.
The world is WAY too big for you to have all the girls.
What you DO need to worry about, however, is competing with YOURSELF.
I’m going to tell you a secret that has taken me years to fully understand…
If you can win the battle with yourself, then you’ll already be LIGHT YEARS ahead of other people in whatever area of your life you’re working on, be it in dating, business, or work.
Because chances are, other people are NOT going to put on their 100 percent. They are NOT going to realize their full potentials.
They are NOT going to work as hard as you do…or as smart. So if you work HARDER and SMARTER than them (smarter is the keyword here) by competing with YOURSELF, you’re going to have more success than most people naturally – WITHOUT screwing over ANYONE.
(Example: If you talk to 100 women a week while the average guy only talks to 2, who’s going to come out the top?)